


it wasn't me, i didn't dig this ditch

by phantomwise (MildeAmasoj)



Series: anatomy of desire [1]
Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Canon Compliant, First Meetings, Gen, Loki being a pain in the ass, Loki lands on Sakaar, Meet-Cute, Mild Language, Or Not So Cute, Pre-Relationship, Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Unresolved Sexual Tension, Val has no chill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-11
Updated: 2019-05-11
Packaged: 2020-02-29 07:26:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18774007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MildeAmasoj/pseuds/phantomwise
Summary: The first thing she finds out about him is that he’s a little shit.(Loki lands on Sakaar. Scrapper 142 is not impressed.)





	it wasn't me, i didn't dig this ditch

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be the Smut part of Valki Week but there is no smut at all because I am uncapable of writing smut. 
> 
> I am a failure.
> 
> An attempt at getting back into writing, as well as getting a feel of these two characters.

The first thing she finds out about him is that he’s a little shit.

It doesn’t take long. At all. 

He quite literally falls from the sky, face first in the heap of trash that is Sakaar, and right (or nearly so) at her feet. And the first thing he does is smirk at her, even as she points a rifle at him. She stuns him before he can even think of getting up, introduce himself, or say anything at all, and hauls him around like a rag doll until she reaches her ship.

And then she ties him (in retrospect, not the only time she would; he’s a kinky little shit).

She drags him inside the Royal Palace and into the elevator, already tasting the Sakaarian liquor his sale is gonna buy her, when he starts to wake up. “Hello,” he greets groggily, looking around to get his bearings, and stopping just a moment to look out of the elevator and down into the city, and she doesn’t bother to reply. It actually looks like he’s used to waking up in strange and unexpected places (she knows the feeling).

He struggles to stand up through his bound hands and torso (eh, she likes to be thorough) and sways slightly as the doors to the elevator open. She doesn’t even glance at him as she grabs his arm and pulls him out, forcing him to walk towards the Grandasshole’s Throne/Orgy/Disco/Party/Council/Whatever Room.

He plants his feet in the ground and she’s forced to turn around and face him, rolling her eyes. He’s making her lose precious time she could spend drinking her brain away.

“I’m Loki,” he says, and his green eyes burn into her. Under his stare, she feels a weird tingling that she attributes to alcohol withdrawal.

She smiles. “Ah, nice to know!” she exlaims, ans then goes back to her usual, uncaring expression. “Too bad I don’t give a shit. You’re just, literally, money in my eyes. No names needed. Actually, if I know my buyers well, the asshole’s gonna pay quite a bit of units for,” she looks at him, up and down, never one to shy away from being appreciative, “ _this_.”

He doesn’t look surprised; he doesn’t even blink. He just looks mildly amused and shrugs. “Well, then, never hurts to have some manners. I expect my captor has a name?”

She rolls her eyes again. Oh, he’s going to be an absolute pain in the ass about this. She hates this kind of thing. A girl just wants some units to buy alcohol and poison her liver to death, but she ends up having to actually interact with people. So annoying. 

“Scrapper 142,” she says curtly. And that’s the end of it, she turns around again and pulls on his arm to make him walk, and meets no resistance this time.

They walk in silence in the absurdly long corridor and she can feel his eyes on her. She hates him already and really really wishes he wasn’t the Grandmaster’s type so she could skewer his worthless ass and send him to Hel. She really has no time for this kind of shit.

As they reach the door to the Whatever Room, instead of opening it she turns towards him. “He likes spirit and wit, but not too much or he’ll fry you,and no, it’s not a metaphor. If you have any special talent, good; it’ll buy you additional points. If you have any _weird_  talent or quality or... body part, whatever, that’s even better. He’s quite the kinky son of a bitch. He’s gonna ask you what you are, a fighter or food,” she explains, and sees his eyebrow minutely twitch out of the corner of her eye.

She repressed her smirk of satisfaction. “This planet may be full of trash and savages,” she continues, “but not everyone likes to eat people, so when _he_  says “food”, he means someone to entertain him in whatever way possible, and to get rid of whenever he gets bored. Fighter means you’ll end up fighting his champion and you’ll be dead in seconds, and seeing as you look like a gust of wind could blow you over I suggest you choose to be food.”

He looks intently at her as she speaks. When she finishes, he smirks again, which seems to be his only expression. “Thank you for the advice, but you needn’t worry, I know how to ingratiate myself to... peculiar people. I do appreciate the concern, however, _Scrappy_ ,” and at that, he actually grins wolfishly, showing no sense of self preservation whatsoever.

She is sure her face turns the same red as the floors as she feels her neck flush in pure, unadulterated rage. She whips out her knife and pushes him against a wall, banging his head against the hard surface with a satisfying _thump_ , holding the blade at his throat and glaring up at him.

“One, I am not concerned about you, only about how much you’ll earn me. The more he likes you, the more units I’ll get. But keep talking and it won’t matter how much money you’re worth, I won’t hesitate to bring him your headless body just to shut your mouth, and then I can guarantee you that “food” will just mean _food_. Two, do not _ever_  call me Scrappy again, _Lackey_ ,” she growls and emphasizes the name by pushing the blade even deeper against his skin, drawing a drop of blood.

“...Not that you’ll have the chance,” she adds, withdrawing and sheathing her dagger, then grabbing his arm and opening the door, throwing the annoying little shit inside. 

Honestly. The things she does for booze.

**Author's Note:**

>  _It wasn't me, I didn't dig this ditch_  
>  _I was walking for weeks_  
>  before I fell in.  
> ~The Loneliness and the Scream,  
> Frightened Rabbit


End file.
